Can i survive it...??

So here is the thing..

Adik ipar dah maklum kat suami tarikh kahwin dia tahun depan...

Sebelum puasa..

Kalau ikutkan, lantak la kan kau nak kawen bila pun. Cuma dah berapa kali mak mertua n ayah mertua minta lepas raya, senang...ada masa kumpul duit lagi...lepas tu kalau buat time bulan Syawal, alang2 kenduri senang la orang datang beraya sekali..

Tapi tak...si adik ni (lelaki) dok nak ikut cakap bakal mak mertua dia yang pushy tu..Entah apa di kejar..(well memang la better awal sebab sekarang pun dah kehulu ke hilir berdua..macam lagi selalu spend masa dengan cik tunang dari family sendiri...)..

Tapi macam kata-kata parents sendiri dia tak nak fikir habis, pikir yang bakal mak mertua dia nak aje...

So ok lantak la...

But deeeeeeeeppp down I do get nervous also...adik I nak kawen memang macam takde bayang lagi...So my brother-in-law's wedding ni lah yang akan jadi a quite big thing for us, and the closest to my self.

Sebelum2 ni bila cousin2 suami or my own kahwin pun, ada la nervous jugak. (one coming up this December) but not as nervous as your own in-law i think..

2 cousins suami kawen after kami...sorang dah 2 anak ok! adik dia pun yang baru kawen last year, dah ada sorang anak jugak..so of course i'm quite intimidated.

So this the brother in-law of mine.....................................................................................

I told husband, lets strive for our kid seriously..as i promise myself I want to get pregnant BEFORE his brother getting married...or by hook by crook before they got one of their own.

Sounds selfish?

Yes.

But somehow deeeeeepppppp down...I do not know whether I could survive the emotions and feelings if that I thing i dreading of now, happens later on.

I am scared.
I am worried.

Can I survive my own heart struggle IF i'm in that situation?

Because I'm afraid I can't. And I will do something stupid. Many things.....

My husband and I do talk about this. (That's why I'm very grateful having him. He is soooo open up about this and he totally understands my worries..) I cried. Again. He understands the feeling and not once he told me something i do not want to hear. He understands what will I feel in that situation. His words are so assuring that he will be there for me and hold me tight to get through that.

Thank you hubs.

Though I do not know how am i going to get through that.

Can I survive it?

Allah......kurniakan kami segala kebaikan yang ada di sisi Mu ke atas kami~