Towards certain level, i'm getting used to hear the news of friends getting pregnant before me though they were just married less than a year...or less than my time..
But truly i cannot lie to myself to keep thinking about it..there is a small space of emptiness in my heart every time I heard the news..
Most of my friends which I am not so close enough, I can just simply being jealous for a moment, and I forget about them..do not bother to say anything to them..If i read on the FB, i just can scroll awaaaaay...
But to those are so close..so dear to me..I cannot just simply forget them, scrolling away or left without saying anything to them..just the best I can do is, say something like..take care, berapa bulan or something yg simple and just divert to other issue..trying haaaardd to conceal my feelings..
I AM happy for them...I do...I do...I do....i...i think i do...
Tapi tu lah...dalam hati ni ada penyakit....cemburu tu memang tak boleh tipu ada...dalam gembira la jugak dengar berita dorang..dalam kadang2 muka ni buat tak tahu or buat coooooolll je kan...i know many of us yang dalam circle yang sama, can understand what is the true feeling..
But I always want to know the secret of my sister's skill of hiding the feeling for a complete 10 years..even me, her sister can't even detect if she feels down whenever my sister in law and my other sister (younger than her) got pregnant before her..and she loves our nephew and nieces so dearly, i can see in her face..
I guess her Sabar is soooo great that Allah bless her with a cute son..and now Allah wants me to gain pahala of Sabar like her..maybe her limit was when the year i got married, that was the year she got pregnant. Alhamdulillah..Allah's plan for her is soooo perfect.
Sabar for waiting my turn insyaAllah. I do not know what is Allah's plan for me on when and how can I get my baby..but as for now..I just continue my plan and my effort, as part of His plan too
Lets continue Dan Majesky's story again soon...~
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