New Job for 2016

Bismillah

Assalamualaikum..

Tertinggal lama blog nak update. Been quite busy. Actually dah seminggu since 2 January kerja di tempat baru.

D tukar kerjaaaaaa tadika pulak! Hehe..
Biarlah rahsia tadika mana..haha.

Alhamdulillah, D rasa tahun 2016 D kena buat perubahan. Setahun lepas D kerja di pejabat setiausaha.
Gaji for a start, quite ok la. Sementara belum ada anak, memang ok la.

But i was suffering there. Tak tahu la nak kata macam mana. Workload boleh tahan banyak, kejap kena buat minit meeting or any secretarial things..kejap lagi kena handle finances, invoices la ape la..and i was soooo stress kat sana..

Kesimpulannya memang tak happy! I was a chatty person, happy go lucky and mudah mesra..tapi kat sana..i was soo quiet . And I do not like myself being so quiet..boleh dikatakan kat ofis lama, i have no friends..yes we talk to each other, but only during lunch hour. And it was only 6-7 of us! bukan 50 orang pun...they are nice, but not really a friendly people..I usually after a week of two, I can easily blend with people. But with them, I just cannot blend in. Everyone are so preoccupied.

. .Setahun D tak rasa happy kerja sana. Almost everyday i dreaded of going to work every morning. Every single day! Ada sekali tu almost a week hari2 balik, nangis kat hubby kata nak resign.Then i know i will not stay for a long time.

Kalau dah tak happy, nak buat apa kerja pun tak jalan. huhu...

So i guess it is not my kind of nature there. Hari2 rasa pergi kerja memang tak ikhlas. Dah sangat terasa la ketiadaan berkat kerja kat sana..haha. Tengok muka bos pun tak lalu, stress je kalau dia masuk ofis. haha..

Actually masuk kerja bulan 2, bila dah bulan 6 macam tu D dah rasa give up..bulan 7 sebenarnya nekad nak resign, tapi masa tu tak ada kerja baru yang menanti. Hari-hari bukak jobstreet. Apply dah banyak, tapi berlalu sahaja bagai angin lalu tanpa apa-apa. Masa tu pun hubby baru nak dapat kerja baru, so memikirkan income, D bertahan je.

Sampai la lepas 2 months dia dah kerja dan agak stabil, D betul2 dah tak tahan, so I just ask my current boss if there any vacancy at her kindergarten. And I know how little the salary she offered, but D tawakkal..D nekad.

I need to gain back my sense and happiness.

Ceh drama.

Bila fikir2 balik...memang teringat masa tengah sangat down, D hari-hari dalam solat, doa supaya Allah buka jalan untuk D, untuk D berhenti dari tempat lama, tapi masa tu tak ada kerja baru lagi. D cuma doa doa doa...supaya Allah buka lah apa2 jalan pun...walaupun D tak tahu bila Allah akan kabulkan doa tu

Dan Alhamdulillah..sangat terasa sekarang, dapat kerja di kindergarten ni lah, doa D yang Allah kabulkan. Memang teringat sangat sangat pengharapan dari Allah untuk kerja yang baru.

I cannot complain much on the salary. D redha. D cuma harap D boleh capai bahagia dan redha Allah juga, datang kerja happy dan ikhlas..

Bahagia tau juga tengok anak-anak tadika ni. Nakal tu jangan cakaplah...memang ada yang buat boiling point tu hari-hari capai tahap tinggi..tapi buat-buat tak nampak dan tengok je lah muka-muka yang comel tu...muka-muka yang tak de lah comel tapi penyejuk hati dengan perangai baik pun cukup Alhamdulillah....

Kadang-kadang boleh tersenyum sendiri tengok diorang bahagiaaa je main lari-lari jerit-jerit, even bingit tapi D buang tepi la bising tu, just tengokkk je muka diorang ketawa and happy masa main.....memang boleh senyum sendiri....

huhu..nanti la cerita lagi pasal kerja kat sini...macam-macam, teacher nye pun sama..haha

Janji Allah (9:111)

ان الله اشترى من المؤمنين انفسهم واموالهم بان لهم الجنة يقاتلون في سبيل الله فيقتلون ويقتلون وعدا عليه حقا في التوراة والانجيل والقران ومن اوفى بعهده من الله فاستبشروا ببيعكم الذي بايعتم به وذلك هو الفوز العظيم

Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their properties [in exchange] for that they will have Paradise. They fight in the cause of Allah , so they kill and are killed. [It is] a true promise [binding] upon Him in the Torah and the Gospel and the Qur'an. And who is truer to his covenant than Allah ? So rejoice in your transaction which you have contracted. And it is that which is the great attainment. (At-Taubah:111)

Perjalanan hidup kita...amal..ibadah...harta yang kita ada di dunia ni...

Allah dah janji, Allah akan "beli" segala amal dan harta kita tu..

Dan Allah akan "bayar" pembelian-Nya dari kita tu...

Dengan SYURGA..

Bayaran yang paaaaaaaaaaling mahal!

Lebih mahal dari bumi sebijik ni, dan seluruh isi alam nya..

Kekasih nak janjikan bulan bintang...?

Tak terbanding SYURGA Allah tu..

Orang nak janji kan segunung emas permata..?

Jauh langi dan bumi dengan SYURGA Allah tu!

Selagi kita teguh menyatakan keimanan kita..

Menjaga amal-amal kita sebagai Muslim

Perintah-Nya...larangan-Nya..

Setiap kerja kita

Setiap usaha kita

Setiap harta kita

Tidak kira apa...

Kita susah payah mendapatkan nya...

Allah akan balas..

Balas dengan bayaran termahal

Dan tiada siapa boleh bayar semahal tu

Even Pak Arab terkaya dunia mana pun..

Saudagar minyak sejuta tong

No one!

Then why we depend so much on human treat?

Why we depend so much on human promise?

They cannot promise us anything...

Sebab janji Allah paling utuh dan kukuh.

So para TTC-ian..

Setiap susah payah air mata kalian

Buatlah sambil ingat pada Allah..

InsyaAllah ada rezeki atau tak

Allah akan terima usaha-usaha kita

Dan Syurga lah bayaran-Nya..

Untuk hamba-hambaNya yang bersyukur....

Be strong and senyum okeh!

Doakan

Bismillah

Found this on FB, one of my friend post this.

She also have been married nearly 2 years..I was in November, she was in January the next year if I'm not mistaken.

And until now, she as well still yet have a baby. Bless her hopefully.

The words is quite touching does it?

Kalau ikut hati memang nak share jugak gambar ni kat FB.

Nak juga baca orang bagi kata semangat ke..doa ke..support ke..

But think twice trice. I abandoned it.

That's the reason I choose blog instead of FB to pour my heart and feelings about this matter.

I do feel that FB is no a safe and right place to share it. 

Hubs always says, do not show to the world that we have so much trouble..especially on this matter.

Biarlah kita sendiri je rasa. Dan suami. Masing-masing je tahu struggle pasangan masing-masing.

People out there will not fully understand. 

Everyone has their own judgement.

Can't help it to be judgmental, human are. 

They will misinterpreted.

Later on, they only will assume we are not try hard enough.

And only continue whining and sobbing.

Then the result, kita sentap. Kita terasa. Kita yang sedih.

Aduh. 

Kan penat.

Tak salah nak minta doa sahabat-sahabat luar sana.
Tapi manusia ni ada limit nya.
Tak semua bersangka baik.
Tak semua pun baik.

Kita sendiri kena berpada-pada.
Nanti kita sendiri juga yang kena jaga hati sendiri.
Bukan orang lain kan.

Maaf dah merapu.
Tapi dari blog ni pulak, siapa yang stumble upon this pathetic blog and post, mohon juga doakan D untuk 2016 ni dengan impian D...impian setiap wanita berkahwin.

:)

Senyum.

We are the Dreamers

Bismillah

me and my hubs
We have been married for two years Alhamdulillah.

Last November
the 30th to be exact

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. I never dream to be blessed with such a great hubs.
Indeed he is the 3rd gift from heaven for me
After my Mak and Ayah of course, they are my first love ^_^

This 2016, we are step into our 3rd year of marriage, Alhamdulillah.
But we are still only just a two of us.
So we decided that in 2016 we must do something.
Start somewhere.

Yeah I know it's quite late to take a start.
But I hope it is not way too late.

our 1st year, in 2014we are in a long distance marriage.
Only see each other on weekends.
So the time constrain really hard for us to try naturally.
And sometimes, I was on my period on that weekend. Bummer.......

Then we reached into 2015, we start to live together, Alhamdulillah
But a bit stress for me, because I never never never been so far away from my parents.
Been missing them a lot, together with my niece and nephews that lives together with their granddad and grandmom..(my big sis and hubs are staying with them).

Manja la kan. Bukan anak bongsu pun. Tapi dalam ramai adik beradik, I'm the only one who did not went to SBP since form 1. Only enrolled to boarding school in form 4..
Then I further study in diploma and degree in Gombak, only 15 minutes drive from home.
I never been out from KL/Selangor actually..

Until 2015. I head South.

So 2015 went.....well..not so well la I could say.
We haven't start any treatment because we thought we want to try naturally, since we kindda treat 2015 as our first year marriage because we just start living together. Haha.
So called newlyweds :p

But weeks turn into months.
And now it has been a year.
Not a thing.
Well my period was not so regular, but it came every month..cuma kejap banyak, kejap sedikit..so i really cannot determine the right time.

It was my fault jugak lah, tak rajin rekod body temp every morning. Tak rajin ambil vitamin. I did consume Shaklee GLA and few others...tapi tu lah...istiqomah ke laut~

Dreamers apa kalau ke laut istiqomah nya kan...

Oh Allah~

So this year we decided to start somewhere. Maybe we need to abandon natural way. Maybe we need to start to seek for any treatment possible. Brace myself for any possible.

I did my pap smear in June 2015. The result was ok, just have some infections down there but nothing dangerous...and nothing further. We stuck there. We did not step up for further investigation or treatment.

I do not call myself as infertile. Hate that. Because I do not know yet what did we do wrong, or what are the problems. Either me or hubs.

hmmm....where to start ya..~

Start With A Dream

Bismillah

A new blog.
A new year.
A new start.
A new step.
A new challenge.

This is the place that i will pour it all.

Call me D..for dreamer..

Yes, first we only can be a dreamer..
Dream for a new hope
Dream for a miracle
Dream for a challenge

What do i dream for?

I dream for a gift from heaven

Yes..a baby. a child. an offspring. an heir.

How many?
Wallahu'alam.
Biiznillah for no matter how much He is willing to give us.
We can only plan, pray, work for it, struggle, pray, keep on going and tawakkal.

But one day,
D will change to an A
an Achiever!

InsyaAllah.